Define Shine Control
What do you think to my poem it only took me 10mins?
Take me to where the sun does shine
your wisdom and naivety reluctantly combined
a place for two lost souls to intertwine
Ticking clocks of virtuous time.
Don’t try to understand what you can’t control
your destiny is that of the path of your soul
No wind favours he without a goal
And no chose conclusion there’s a hidden toll
Countless metaphors that define certain bliss
with one chose all could be dismissed
Never let our dreams remiss
Don’t join the endless loveless list
I will stand always by your side
Lets get carried away by the rising tide.
Only in your heart my head will chose to hide
I vow to vied for your love i will always strive
Lose a grasp of all that’s real
Temptation salvation nothing to conceal
Just let it come and let it flow
Easy come and easy go.
There maybe spelling mistakes but easy fixed tell me if your a proffesional and know what youe on about thank you
i agree with everyone on here, it is really good. it is creative, original, and full of subtle feeling that doesnt bash you over the head with its point.
but, if you want to make it even better, try to work on the rhythm. thats the hardest part for a lot of poets. just try to make each line have around the same number of syllables. for example, the first line in the second stanza has 11 beats, while the third line has only 7.
still, great job!!
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